Relationships play a central role in our lives. When we feel satisfied and secure, relationships can be a source of strength, comfort and meaning. When we experience difficulties in our primary relationships it can have profound effects on our day-to-day lives. Couples who are experiencing emotional distance, sexual difficulties, a lack of boundaries or other threats to their relationship may benefit from couples therapy. Together we will focus on increasing understanding of you and your partner, improving communication and reaching your desired goals. Couples sessions are 50 minutes or more and are usually held once a week.
Some reasons why couples seek therapy:
Ineffective Communication
A couples’ ability to listen, understand and repair when needed is top of the list in a secure relationship. Disagreements are a healthy part of relationships but when the emphasis is on being right versus hearing our significant other, the end result is often resentment.
Emotional Distance
When it becomes harder and harder to relate, one or both people in the relationship can become disengaged. Perhaps it felt easier to avoid a difficult situation or uncomfortable feelings than to talk about it. Letting things slide from time to time is one thing, but a pattern of avoiding tough issues in a relationship can lead to loneliness, resentment and a sense of “going through the motions.”
One Partner Pursues, the Other Withdraws
This is a familiar dance for many couples. The unfortunate part is that the pattern is circular and tends to leave couples off right where they started. Pursuers tend to want more from their partners and let that be known in direct or indirect ways. The person who withdraws tends to feel overwhelmed and criticized. Many couples in this situation describe a frequent need to retreat to their separate corners.
Issues Around Sex and Intimacy
Sex and intimacy are a natural and healthy part of relationships that can be a source of comfort and pleasure. Intimacy (both physical and emotional) has to do with feeling connected and involves revealing oneself on a deeper level. Sex and intimacy can create strong feelings of closeness and love for some and for others it can be associated with discomfort and vulnerability.
What should I expect from couples therapy?
Couples therapy should lead to a deeper understanding of the current dynamic and the discovery of new responses to old relational challenges. Over time a couple should feel more connected and better able to manage the inevitable challenges that are a part of all intimate relationships.